A Guide to Speak Romance Like Generation Z: Fifty-One Niche Words for Romance, Intimacy and Questionable Conduct

The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed guide to the words this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do affordable dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it describes couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits affirm your choice to date a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {