Steady, soldier. Ben Stokes's side could be heading into the third Ashes Test now 2-0 down, however not everyone within the England setup is disheartened. There is one collective ideally equipped for this scenario, a dedicated unit who can lay claim to be the quintessential experts in defeat. Is optimism crushed? Do you feel the weight beneath the weight of crushing defeat? In that case, join the Barmy Army.
As we speak, their advance guard are descending upon Adelaide, the city where they first came together 30 years ago. England's iconic – and for their size most vocal – travelling fans will be anticipating an celebratory against-all-odds victory, similar to the one they celebrated on that historic tour. Furthermore no matter the outcome on the pitch, in the stands and bars the parties will be long and loud.
"The on-field action been very, very disappointing," one founder concedes, "however we're the lucky ones, because we're on holiday. It's likely harder for the people at home."
Despite a spectacular team failure doesn't trouble this crew of battle-tested followers. They've been watching England's top-order failures since earlier than the latest star took the field. They've seen more spilled chances than star players have international dismissals. Their personal stats as an Ashes touring group is: contested many, lost often, won seldom. The people who knows how to weather a series sweep, it's the long-standing fans.
Certainly, if you're watching, the Barmy Army are seen to be all over during this Ashes. Host broadcasters at the grounds often appear keener to feature the Barmies than on their own fans. Sports networks regularly use them as banter-primed buildup to a day's play. Even the athletes on the field give them a wave, with a supporter portraying a royal figure starting a chorus of a patriotic song.
It's possible that the Barmy Army's dual effect of endurance and visibility has now overshadowed quite how stunning their dominance of away support has been. Three decades ago a few backpackers were brought together in good-natured humour about failure at England's woeful away record. In the present day their reputation is so linked with the men's Test side that their boisterous, "unique" crowd is all but part of the furniture. They've definitely come a long way since the initial chants.
One founding member recalls the excited anticipation of the first Test of that pioneering tour. With the opposition building a solid score, he led a modest conga in the stands, teasing the locals with a tune about historical figures. "The Aussie fans jeered at us, then threw rubbish – the stuff that we occasionally encounter today," he remembers. "But when we got back our little group of England followers had all taken part."
After an early setback, England's tour faced further difficulties. Anyone following the team around the country surely was barmy indeed. By the time the later Tests their crowd had swelled significantly. Those on the field, however, genuinely enjoyed their support at the grounds. When England pulled off a consolation win, a senior player summoned a fan leader up to the players' area to join in the celebrations. That bond has endured.
But then, the significant volume the Barmy Army can muster are as appealing to the cricket authorities as they are to international stadiums. For this series alone, their organised trips will bring thousands of supporters. Numerous activities are organised for the 30th anniversary.
This is, after all, an organisation born of fan enthusiasm and business acumen. The explanation they mark their founding to a specific Test is because that was when they started producing merchandise. The limited early stock was so quickly sold out – and financially rewarding – that it sparked a lasting enterprise. Over the years, the original members have helped turn a fan community into an major tour operator.
That brings its own issues, particularly at a time when sport is looking to shed some of its rowdy image. The Barmy Army's directors are eager to highlight that a significant portion of their supporters on tour are now women. As norms evolve, the vocals have had to get cleaner, too. "Things that were common 30 years ago you cannot utter today, and that's correct," says a director. "We can't tell someone how to behave in their own space, but we will not promote songs that are insulting."
Will the Barmy Army mellow naturally? The average supporter age is now in middle age – mirroring the pioneers, who have been happy to step away from the daily operation. One founder is enjoying this tour purely as a punter – leaving newer staff to run the Barmy Army's digital presence. "We forget how hard it used to be to organise with each other," he smiles. "It was all done all by meeting up – 'everyone's going to the pub!'"
Turning to the current contest, the unlikely scenario of a historic comeback persists, which is classic Barmy Army indeed. In the event England are defeated in Adelaide … well, the next tour looks nice.
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