Must My Aspiring Influencer Pal Stop Exploiting People for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?